jkatkina

If there are ~two wolves inside everybody~ mine are thus:

Sleep, rest, denning up. Learning to be okay with less. Doing less, having less. Contentment with self, with presence, with just who I am and where I am. The surrender of earthly goals in service of allowing the soft animal of my body to simply exist in warmth.

and

Teeth sinking into the world, a joyous, fierce grab, hunger, HUNGER, HUNGER, connection, expansion. The collection of experiences, people, joys, pains, fears, successes. The uncompromising drink, swallow after messy swallow, from the cup of life. The desire to see how far, how fast, how bright.

I mean, I like em both, the tension only comes in the conflict between them

but also shit like this happens, where having spent three months post-surgery necessarily living in the space of Wolf #1, the hot second I'm feeling human again and an opportunity comes down the pipes to test my limits Wolf #2 allows no quarter and goes YEP WE'RE DOING THIS

"Hey, you want to try your hand at supervising? I think you'd be good at it!"

"Sure, sounds like a fun challenge!"

*facepalm*

We did it!!

I am and will forever be a slower writer than TL, but damn it, I sustain. And we did it -- we're 75% of the way through book 2, at 100,000 words, probably 25% of which was fluff meant to keep us going when energy was flagging.

I thoroughly recommend writing alongside a loved other, folks. Sneak in with some RP when both of you are going UGGGHHH I DON'T WANNA and it brings the energy back up. Or at least fills in wordcount on a slow day.

I'm pretty proud of having done this alongside full-time work, although holy shit my wallet and adrenals are feeling all the time in coffee shops this month.