jkatkina

I'm feeling more myself today, the last day of my three-week unpaid holiday (lol), which I'm going to stubbornly take as a good omen. I am afraid of the change going back to working full time will wreak, but I am firmly putting that fear aside for now. I'm sitting on a sunny hillside listening to some plinky guitar music and all is well in the soft animal of my body.

Dreamwidth in particular is where I've been coming to get away from the rest of social media and let my sphere shrink for a bit when I need that. It's impossible to not want to be involved in trying to right the racist wrongs currently happening -- to somehow be supporting, rallying, mourning, donating, amplifying voices of colour. I do my best. I've been trying to engage with my more racist relatives on Facebook when they post bullshit "Jesus sacrificed himself because ALL lives matter!!!" memes. I haven't been out to a physical protest here in Vancouver and am beginning to realize that may not be a way I can contribute, at least not regularly, which means trying to triage what kind of online "help" actually helps and what's just privileged noise, and then executing on what I can. It's a lot. It needs doing.

But I may not post a lot about it here. At least the outward work. I'm trying to dig inwards, too, which does fit into the wheelhouse of this blog being unrepentant navel-gazey.

Anyways, we had DnD yesterday, and everyone in our group seemed to need it. Marla is coming over again today since the seal has been broken, and I'm glad of it. She's gone near full nocturnal and apparently stopped eating for three days last week, and I will not stand for this. She will get fed, she will get a bit of social contact, and if she feels like it she will get some things off of her chest. Honestly I wish we could have her just come stay here for a bit so we could keep an eye on her and help out, but I'm not sure where we'd stash her if she's sleeping in the day and I need to use my office for work.

I am slightly drunk and very silly.

Tonight has been an unusually sociable night. It is TL's birthday (happy birthday to the best wife!!), and I got to give her a cake (covered in the fated buttercream) and a DnD sourcebook.

Otherwise, here are such things that have happened today:

My brother and my two nephews stopped by outside our house to wish TL a happy birthday, through a window, for a solid half hour. E, our older nephew, demanded that we come to his house immediately afterwards. Unlikely, although darling; it is lovely for our presence to be so desired. we plan to stop by tomorrow and shout-chat with him and the rest of the fam from the sidewalk. Poor kid is so sociable; clear signs of stress at having Auntie Time diminished.

My work put on a digital Happy Hour at six. I almost didn't go but I am glad I did; it is easier to socialize with my coworkers from the comfort of my pyjama pants than it is to stay at work until 7 and not get home till 10. We did about a dozen toasts to different parts of the production team, since our current production is wrapping up, and it was sweet af.

We played some Jackbox games with our dear friend M, from DnD, and a handful of other people I'm loosely acquainted with (mostly from the ten-years-ago school days). I am glad she put these on; she came to drop off a gaming system and games a few days ago, with proper social distancing established, and she seemed to be doing pretty badly. She got dumped by her good-for-nothing BF in december and had been struggling a bit, and I think the total isolation is getting to her. I love her dearly, and wish I could do more -- it was good to hear her laugh today. We'll hear from her again tomorrow with DnD at least.

It's a strange time, but it distills the love we have for the people in our lives. I am not strictly the most sociable person, but I find myself feeling strongly about the people in our lives that mean the most.

Check on your folks, folks. Everyone needs a little extra love right now.