jkatkina

So yesterday was somehow, out of the blue, kind of a perfect day.

We got some more work done on the big terrarium. It's 50% siliconed/textured now!! Hopefully time for dirt and plants next week!!!
We settled on where and how we're going camping this week.
Worked the fuck out (in anticipation of said camping trip, which will also be a long canoe day)
Got my COVID booster -- not fun, but good.
Hung out in a coffee shop and got some writing done on Constellations! Only like a couple hundred words but progress is progress!
Signed the contract for my upcoming job! July - January, so I'll be hunting again in a few months, but hopefully the industry will be less of a garbage fire then.
A friend reached out to say hello and ask some advice about freelancing! That felt really good, both the hello and the being able to help.
Spent the evening finessing my boards for class this wednesday and ended up with some stuff I'm really proud of.
Went to sleep cuddled up with TL and feeling actually peaceful.

It's such a 180 from the past several weeks. My skin is clear, my crops are watered, my people are thriving, and all of that literally. Man, you can't anticipate them, but when the good days hit, they're better than gold.

So, with reason, I've been feeling pretty good lately.

Weekend was crazy. Three solid days of people, which pushes my limits for sure. Community Day and DnD on Saturday, and Thanksgiving on both Sunday and Monday, with my family and E&R and their kids respectively. I'm shocked I'm not sick — for those counting, that's three toddlers and one baby and all had snotty noses. Good job, immune system.

This is also my last week working on a project that I find technically enjoyable (I love me some rendering-heavy paint, especially of organic scenery, and boy howdy am I RENDERING SOME PLANTS m'boys) but sort of soulless. On next to a big franchise that helped shape my childhood and I'm excited to put my hand in.

More than that, though — well. A few things. The others I'll talk about later, but, oh man.

I think I'm in the right job, finally, after years of stress and confusion about it. At least for the time being, it's proving challenging and rewarding, and after a long, long time of not, I'm rebuilding my sense of self. I keep rising to the challenges at this work. I keep doing better. The hunger in my soul has a direction and though it still flares up from time to time, it's been helping me really sink my teeth into chasing projects and making impressions.

We had folio reviews yesterday, with the art director of the entire company. He'd done some several months ago and was back for the rest of us, to get to know all of us folks up in Vancouver (Titmouse is mainly based out of the US). It was serendipitous, honestly — in those several months I've been on three different shows, with three very very different styles, and honestly, I've killed it at all three. I've worked hard to.

He had noticed. I never expect that. In the ten or so minutes I got to chat with him, I learned that 1. He already knew who I was; 2. He had already taken note of my skill and versatility, and 3. he's got an eye on me for the future. We had a chat about the kind of folio improvements I'd have to put together to nail a position on his A-list, and organized to have coffee next time he's up.

This is big. It was a good conversation and the most validating thing that has happened to me in a very, very long time. It's one thing to know you're good at something, but — I'm so used to just simply not being seen at all, when I'm working in a group environment. It's powerful to be seen.

So we run a DnD game on a somewhat irregular schedule, coming out in the wash to about once every two weeks, with a handful of friends. TL DMs and we host folks at our place, which is ideal because I can satisfy my delight in feeding my friends and when the night is over I can immediately collapse onto the couch in exhaustion, like a fainting lady, without any transit first.

Anyways, I don't know what was in the air tonight but everyone was fucking bonkers.

At one point we were discussing unintentionally hilarious 90s toys, and the DM punished us by naming our allied sailor NPCs after them: RIP Bondage Barbie, and godspeed Cockring Ken with that water elemental we trapped in a barrel for you.

At another point, HMS Pinafore came on the "nautical RPG" spotify playlist came on, and none of us, including the DM, could breathe laughing for about five minutes.

This is the shit I live for. Honestly there's nothing better than just being silly with people. I think this is why drinking is so popular in social gatherings -- that said, our DnD games are sober, so that freedom to be absurd has been much harder won over a long time, and it's so, so satisfying.

I've spent a lot of my life without a robust social group -- I've had friends, but rarely have those friends known each other. I don't know how long this group will last, but god it's a delight to have it now.

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