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jkatkinaSo irt my previously-stated intentions to spend more things on things that take more time, mixed success but not no success so far. I think I'm cut back on tumblr (etc) a bit; I've been reading articles rather than just closing them, and -- honestly the thing here --
I am playing Video Game.
I bought the Silent Hill 2 remake: preordered by a couple of days, when the earlybird reviewers were beginning to put out positive reviews, but I believed in it before then. It's the first triple-A video game I've bought in... shit, it's the first triple-A I've bought full-price that I can remember. Everything else came used, or later during a sale. I am not generally a release-date player of anything -- and in the past several years I have not been a player of longform video games at all, out of a combination of lack of focus and lack of motivation.
Silent Hill as a franchise lands solidly in special-interest territory for me, though. I know the lore and I know the background of the games and I will listen to all of the video essays. Playthroughs on youtube of the OG games are comfort food. That in mind, this time I ignored the sensible notion to wait till it's no longer fucking $90 and dove right the fuck in.
It's so interesting to observe my brain squirming under the pressure of doing something volitionally that takes time and attention and decision-making skills, even when it's something fun that I chose to do. There is a part of me that squrims about it, even when I'm enjoying it: something that feels a weird little dread that this thing is taking Effort and I might be Tired afterwards, so am I sure I want to do it? I am also not being possessed in the same way I do when something's a bona-fide brain-chemistry hyperfocus, but I am genuinely enjoying it, and all that in gestalt feels like good practice for relearning how to just enjoy things.
also, fuck, if you've ever been interested in SH it's a great in-road. it's so so SO well done. AGH. ACK. EUGH. ETC. I think I gave myself an actual neurotransmitter depletion hangover last saturday when I played it for a handful of hours straight.
I am playing Video Game.
I bought the Silent Hill 2 remake: preordered by a couple of days, when the earlybird reviewers were beginning to put out positive reviews, but I believed in it before then. It's the first triple-A video game I've bought in... shit, it's the first triple-A I've bought full-price that I can remember. Everything else came used, or later during a sale. I am not generally a release-date player of anything -- and in the past several years I have not been a player of longform video games at all, out of a combination of lack of focus and lack of motivation.
Silent Hill as a franchise lands solidly in special-interest territory for me, though. I know the lore and I know the background of the games and I will listen to all of the video essays. Playthroughs on youtube of the OG games are comfort food. That in mind, this time I ignored the sensible notion to wait till it's no longer fucking $90 and dove right the fuck in.
It's so interesting to observe my brain squirming under the pressure of doing something volitionally that takes time and attention and decision-making skills, even when it's something fun that I chose to do. There is a part of me that squrims about it, even when I'm enjoying it: something that feels a weird little dread that this thing is taking Effort and I might be Tired afterwards, so am I sure I want to do it? I am also not being possessed in the same way I do when something's a bona-fide brain-chemistry hyperfocus, but I am genuinely enjoying it, and all that in gestalt feels like good practice for relearning how to just enjoy things.
also, fuck, if you've ever been interested in SH it's a great in-road. it's so so SO well done. AGH. ACK. EUGH. ETC. I think I gave myself an actual neurotransmitter depletion hangover last saturday when I played it for a handful of hours straight.
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Date: 2024-10-19 03:54 am (UTC)